i can be bigger than all of this.
its just going to take some time. today my best friend told me she heard the same rumor that's going around from someone else. if anybody AT ALL is reading this:
THE RUMORS ARE NOT FUCKING TRUE.
nor will they EVER be true. it would never happen.
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
i wish i wasn't awake in this part of my life right now. thinking if i could just fast forward to 2010. a fresh start. a new life. i am so frustrated by people talking talking talking all the time. lies and manipulating words has gotten me really down. how did i get caught up in all of this?
i am not the type of person to talk or be talked about. i shouldn't even have to write an entry like this. this should not be happening, but it is, and now i have to deal with it.
i'm looking forward to december. i think it will be a good month. i think things might start to make sense then.
and i STILL haven't heard back about the job. i'm getting really nervous. i can't work at the ymca anymore. i need something new. new changes. that's what i need and i think it could start with the job. fuel for a great fire.
i hate feeling like this. done.
i am not the type of person to talk or be talked about. i shouldn't even have to write an entry like this. this should not be happening, but it is, and now i have to deal with it.
i'm looking forward to december. i think it will be a good month. i think things might start to make sense then.
and i STILL haven't heard back about the job. i'm getting really nervous. i can't work at the ymca anymore. i need something new. new changes. that's what i need and i think it could start with the job. fuel for a great fire.
i hate feeling like this. done.
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Saturday, August 15, 2009
i had one hell of a night last night.
too bad i don't remember much of it...except when i sobered up and had to drive kara and her new lover all over noblesville just so they could probably not hook up, but just cuddle. just kidding. i love her.
i hate being so...so... mushy? but i hate him. i hate him because i can't sleep at night. and i hate myself for even thinking about EVER getting attached especially when i knew he was leaving.
what was i thinking?
too bad i don't remember much of it...except when i sobered up and had to drive kara and her new lover all over noblesville just so they could probably not hook up, but just cuddle. just kidding. i love her.
i hate being so...so... mushy? but i hate him. i hate him because i can't sleep at night. and i hate myself for even thinking about EVER getting attached especially when i knew he was leaving.
what was i thinking?
Thursday, August 13, 2009
i miss a boy.
its a strange feeling.
i had a job interview today for an assistant at an at-home daycare. its only 15-20 hours a week, but $10/hr which is nice. still would have to keep my job at the Y if i get it. anyways, i go to her house tuesday for a "working" interview and then she'll make her decision by next friday. its really nerve racking. i hope i get it. i hope i'm good at it.
i just need at least ONE thing in my life to work out soon.
its a strange feeling.
i had a job interview today for an assistant at an at-home daycare. its only 15-20 hours a week, but $10/hr which is nice. still would have to keep my job at the Y if i get it. anyways, i go to her house tuesday for a "working" interview and then she'll make her decision by next friday. its really nerve racking. i hope i get it. i hope i'm good at it.
i just need at least ONE thing in my life to work out soon.
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